Carmichael v Southerlyn
by Wooffles
Summary: L&O had reached kind of a golden age, but then they killed off Claire and it's only gone downhill from there. Now Claire's out to improve things.


Title: Carmichael v. Southerlyn  
  
Rating: PG...violence  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Abbie and Serena. I do not own Jack, Nora, or any other Law & Order character mentioned in this fic. I also don't own other movies or TV shows I mention. I own virtually nothing except the computer I'm typing this at.  
  
Warning: This is just here to poke fun at both of these people. If you can't take that I suggest you go read something else.  
  
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"Hello, my name is Serena Southerlyn and I'd like to speak to Mr. McCoy."  
  
"Oh, really? Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait, because at the present time Mr. McCoy is bound and gagged in the closet. Leave me your card and I'll be sure to have him call you when I let him out."  
  
Serena stared at Abbie dumbfounded. "You locked Mr. McCoy in the closet?"  
  
"Yeah," Abbie said, shrugging her shoulders. "I do it at least once a week."  
  
"Mind if I ask why?"  
  
"He has no sense of ethics."  
  
Serena wondered who this lady thought she was, and why she thought it was at all ethical to lock her boss in the closet. "You're a fine judge," she muttered under her breath.  
  
"You're right, I am," Judge Connors* said, striding into the room. "Where's Nora? I have a matter of ethics I need to discuss with her!"  
  
"I'm right here," Nora called in her Queen of England voice. "How are you today, Judge Connors, and you...what's your name again?"  
  
"Serena. Serena Southerlyn."  
  
"Right, Lena Southhampton. Well, Miss Southhampton, we need to have a meeting right now, so could you please come back later. Abbie, have you seen Jack anywhere?" At the mention of Jack, Abbie looked very nervous and Nora looked very love struck. Serena found herself wondering exactly what went on at this office.  
  
"I'm leaving, don't worry," she told this lady...Laura Lewis. She moved towards the back of the office and leaned against the wall.  
  
"Lemmeouttahere!" A muffled sound came from the closet, startling the four women in the room. Nora went to open it.  
  
"Jack!" she gasped. "Oh, sweetums, let me help you out of there!" As she untied the ropes binding Jack to the wall, she asked, "Who did this to you, darling, tell me!"  
  
"It was Abbie," Jack muttered. He felt so bad for himself. He was stuck with a boss who was into public displays of affection and an assistant who was into taking hostages.  
  
"What!?" Nora yelped. "You are fired!" she screamed at Abbie.  
  
"Fine, I was leaving next week anyways. The US attorney is cooler than you, anyways, Nora." She stuck her tongue out at the boss and the boss's boss.  
  
"Idiot..." Serena muttered. How could anyone stick their tongue out at the renowned Jack McCoy?  
  
Nora noticed Serena standing at the back of the room and pointed at her, gasping wildly. "You! You were involved in this!"  
  
"No I wasn't!" Serena said. "I'm too sweet and innocent to help lock someone in the closet!"  
  
"Nora, calm down," Judge Connors said soothingly. "You have no evidence that Miss...I'm sorry. What's your name again, dear?"  
  
"Serena. Serena Southerlyn."  
  
"Right. We have no evidence that this woman, Irina Cumberland, was involved with anything. For all we know, it could have been all Abbie's doing and Miss Cumberland was just an innocent bystander."  
  
"She wasn't," Abbie said smugly. "She brought me the rope."  
  
"That is a disgusting lie!" Jack yelled.  
  
"Now, honey bun, remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure..." Nora cooed. The she turned to Abbie. "You, by the way, are fired. You may now leave and take Miss Sandserson with you."  
  
"Fine." Abbie marched out of the office with a regal air, and Serena followed.  
  
"Twit!" she yelled at Abbie as soon as they were outside. "You lost me a job!"  
  
"You lost me a job, too!" Abbie cried angrily.  
  
Serena and Abbie then commenced to have a fist fight. Nora came out to see what the noise was, and they proceeded to punch her, too. After a while, all three of them were lying in a bloody heap on the floor.  
  
The ghost of Claire Kincaid giggled at her handiwork, and then rushed into Jack's office. Another day of causing turmoil among his stupid colleagues had come to a close.  
  
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*Judge Connors-the judge from the Law & Order episode with Jack and Claire about the bikers killing the college boy. I seem to remember everything about this episode except its name and I'm too lazy to try to find and episode guide. 


End file.
